Eating Disorders Hell: Part four of our path

Binge-Eating Disorders

In my last post you read more about my family’s path through Eating Disorder Hell. You got a glimpse of what my husband and I felt, what we went through as we tried to find help for our daughter.  

I left you with hope.

Hope is what got us through those tumultuous years. It is what got us through me walking in our her throwing up while she took a shower. It got us through the wild mood swings. It got us through every time she would not eat when we went out.

Hope.

It got us through.

Throwing up? Did I confuse you? I mentioned that our daughter struggles with Anorexia. I bet you think that a person who throws up suffers with Bulimia.

According to the National Eating Disorder Association some of the physical symptoms of someone in the grips of anorexia nervosa are Cavities, or discoloration of teeth, from vomiting. So yes, she did have and continues to have episodes where she vomits on purpose.

Trust me that is one of the most heart wrenching moments anyone can experience, as both the person with the illness and the person who is their caregiver. I wish I could say I handled it with grace, with understanding, with the care it should have been handled, but I didn’t. Instead I got angry. I yelled at her, the exact words I do not remember and I pray she doesn’t remember them either, but I do remember the volume my voice reached, how scorched my throat felt, and the way my body shook from anger and shame.

Shame.

It seemed to make itself home in our life.

Not at her. I was not ashamed of my daughter then nor am I ashamed of her now. I am proud of her. I love her. The shame is at myself. Not my husband. But me. Even though research has proven that people with eating disorders do not become this way because of their parent’s actions. That mothers are no longer to blame – because there was time society blamed the parents, especially the mother. No, research has proven that eating disorders are biological.

What does that mean? Biological? It means, in layman terms, that the person was born genetically prewired to develop an eating disorder. There are studies where brain scans were done of people who were anorexic and it showed the control centers in their brains is stronger, more developed, than those who are not anorexic.

That is an example of what they mean by biological.

But I can assure you that knowledge does not stop parents from blaming themselves. I still wonder if there was anything I could have done differently, even though scientific knowledge exists to support the fact that no matter what we did or did not do our daughter more than likely would have developed this disorder.

You see, blaming the person or their family for this is something that comes from myths about eating disorders. Myths that should be dispelled. To learn more about these and other myths related to eating disorders click here.

As I stated in my first post on this matter, this subject matter is difficult for us to talk about, to share our story will be a long process due to the emotions this brings up. Today I have shared all that I can.

I will share more about our story, our struggles, our path through eating disorder hell in later posts.

For now, I would like to point you to another recognized eating disorder known as Binge Eating Disorder.

According to the DSM-5™ Binge-Eating Disorder is:

  • Recurrent episodes of binge eating.
    • An episode of binge eating is characterized by both of:
      • Eating, in a discrete period of time (e.g. within any 2-hour period), an amount of food that is definitely larger than what most people would eat in a similar period of time under similar circumstances.
      • A sense of lack of control overeating during the episode.
  • The binge-eating episodes are associated with three (or more of)
    • Eating much more rapidly than normal.
    • Eating until feeling uncomfortably full.
    • Eating large amounts of food when not feeling physically hungry.
    • Eating alone because of feeling embarrassed by how much one is eating.
    • Feeling disgusted with oneself, depressed, or very guilty afterward.
  • Marked distress regarding binge eating is present.
  • The binge eating occurs, on average, at least once a week for three months.
  • The binge eating is not associated with the recurrent use of inappropriate compensatory behavior as in bulimia nervosa and does not occur exclusively during the course of bulimia nervosa or anorexia nervosa.

If you or a loved one suffer with this or another eating disorder please contact the N.E.D.A. Hotline.

Please share this post. Only by raising awareness can we increase the treatment options available.

I look forward to reading your comments.

4 thoughts on “Eating Disorders Hell: Part four of our path

  1. I think you are just amazing for being so transparent. If we can all talk about things…uncomfortable things that often make us feel ashamed…well, that’s when understanding comes in…and shame has to leave! I had no idea about the biological aspect. This makes sooo much since. The more we know, the better we will be for each other! Thank you for caring so much you are willing to fight for people you don’t even know! I love your heart…know that as hard as this is/has been for your daughter and you and hubby and family….you are doing something phenomenal…you are taking what was meant for harm and turning it into something good!!! That’s a God promise! You rock!!! So proud to know you and share your story! ❤

  2. raising awareness is the best thing you can do, thank you x

  3. Thank you for reading. It’s time for another post, but I’m having a difficult time continuing down these memories. But, if they help others I need to find the strength to continue.

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